I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Say something about gay babies.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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