i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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