tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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