SEEEEXXX PLEASE
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
