What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
