Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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