I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Drake has all the answers
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
