Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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