Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
