can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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