Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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