my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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