i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
