i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
