last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
