Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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