tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
