So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
