i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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