how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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