So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize