I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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