There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
