I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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