I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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