Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
