He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
