do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
