He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
