The maid of honor just puked.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wish i was in the wii world.
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I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
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I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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