Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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