My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
