I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
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Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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