You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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