you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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