Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
