Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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