I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize