You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
