sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
