3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
