She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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