so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
