she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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