Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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