I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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