yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
there is glitter all over my balls
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
