First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
