he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
