he thought i was a dude.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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