Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
