also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a kid would responsible me up
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize