The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
