Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
