Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
