why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize